INNOCENT HEART

“Was life really worth? What’s the purpose of life?”She asked to herself. She remembered her days of childhood when she was innocent like any other kid. She fell from bicycle, she recovered, she played with other kids and she fought with them. Of course that was the beauty of childhood. She had her first crush, she had her first kiss. She remembered today all those moments very clearly.

She laughed as she remembered the boy who kissed her first. It was a fragile innocent moment. Those were the days, where everything was beautiful.

She remembered the green farms where she used to run to catch a butterfly. She remembered the flowers which she used to decorate in her hair. She remembered the garden where she used to enjoy swings with her friends.

She wanted that innocence back. She wanted to live that life again. She wanted to go back in time and stilled time. As she started growing up, her innocence was ripped off by society rules and by harsh reality of life. Nothing had ever made sense to her. Why did she have to follow all rules and rituals of society? Why couldn’t they spare her?

One day, she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything. She decided to go against the preconceived notions of society and in result; she was thrown out of society. Was it her fault that she lost her parents at early age? Was it her fault that she lost her love? She lost everything and now she didn’t have anything to lose. Sometimes this could be the best option in life as she could live on her own conditions. She didn’t want to carry any baggage with her. She wanted to live her life on her own way. She followed her heart like an open sky without any boundaries.  

Society had its own definition of living life and she didn’t believe in that definition anymore. Everything was no longer same for her. Nothing mattered to her anymore. She was in her own world. The more and more she got into her world, the more and more she went away from society.

One day, she was sent to mental asylum. She never questioned that decision. Was it worth complaining to people who didn’t know life anyway? Was it worth talking to those people who led others’ life?

She wasn’t sure who was saner – the people who were in mental asylum or the people who were outside the mental asylum. Her world was divided between these walls. After spending some valuable time inside the asylum, she figured out that she was much happier here as she could connect with those souls who had refused to live by the conditions of society. She was touched by the raw emotions of people in mental asylum. She never found this peace anywhere else.

Her search for life was never ended. She wanted to know what life was. In the hope of finding some more answers, she decided to end her life.

“Was life really worth? What’s the purpose of life?” Hope she found answers.